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I’ve spent the morning “spring cleaning” – getting rid of stuff I no longer use – blogs I don’t write for anymore, links that no longer link anywhere and stuff like that.

This morning about 6:45 after my teenager got on the school bus, I was sitting here drinking my coffee and I just felt kinda bogged down. Not heavy bogged down, but just enough that it caused me to think about things. And I realized that in order to CREATE anything, I have to be willing to LET OTHER THINGS GO. (Of course, I knew that already really, but it was one of those moments like “Well, hey, no time like the present!”)

And so shortly thereafter, I got an email that reminded me about renewing my weight loss blogs domain name and even though I enjoy that blog and I really do intend to write there more often, I made the decision to let it go – to not renew it. Once I had that decision made, it just kind of snow-balled a bunch of other similar decisions and I’ve spent the last while letting go of all kinds of things that simply no longer serve my purpose.

I feel peaceful about this change and I think that’s really helping me feel peaceful about some other changes that I’ve been considering for quite some time. Some HUGE changes, actually.

Now it’s just simply time to get on with it. As much as these other changes will be difficult, I am feeling ok about them in the long run. I know the short term will be rough and I’ll have to make some adjustments, but in the end, I think it’s the choice I have to make.

And I know that’s pretty cryptic – sorry – but I’ll let you know about those things soon. I have to make them happen first before I can really discuss them. But trust me – when the time comes, I will NEED A LOT OF TALKING and I’ll be here saying all that needs to said.

Until then,

Be blessed,

I don’t often talk about myself – well, not truly personal things – here on this blog. Mostly because I don’t really like to dwell on things that are going on in my life. But I’m going to break that silence today.

See, what you may not know is that I’m “disabled.” I don’t like to label myself as disabled, though, because when I think of someone truly disabled, I think of my dad who not only had an artificial leg, but was missing several fingers on both hands. Yet, he never thought of himself as disabled either.

It used to bug me to no end when people would stare at my dad when we went somewhere. I used to get so livid that people could be so rude! Sometimes I even told them so! LOL (Yes, I was a feisty kid!)

I always think of someone in a wheelchair or someone who uses a walker or mobility scooter as someone who is really disabled. I think I’m doing pretty good most days when I see people using those devices!

And so, even though my doctor says I now must begin using a cane, I am not going to think of myself as disabled. So there! LOL

Last week when I was in the doctors office for my back and shoulder, she said I really should use a cane. Apparently the arthritis in my low back is really causing some degeneration in the spine that she’s concerned about. Especially since I lose feeling my leg quite easily. And when she couldn’t even get my leg to reflex when she tapped my knee with the little hammer, she decided we needed an MRI.

Hopefully the referral for the MRI for both my back and my shoulder (which she also decided was necessary) will come this week and I get those done. The doctor also thinks it’s time to get started on social security paperwork and I suspect that also will mean paperwork for a disabled parking permit.

The worst part for me is realizing that in the last 6 months, I’ve lost A LOT of motion in my legs and low back. It seems like no matter what I do, everything is getting worse. I feared that one day this would come. In fact, when I first hurt my back in 1997, the doctors told me then that it likely would occur at some point. I just wasn’t planning on it happening until I’d at least reached my 50’s or so.

Anyway, I’m not going to dwell on it – I will do what I always do – what my dad taught me to do by his example and that is to do the best I can and to take it one day at a time.

And when my cane arrives next week, I’ll post a picture of it for you! It shipped yesterday so hopefully it arrives by Wednesday or Thursday. I really hope Wednesday, though, because that’s usually when I go grocery shopping and it would make it so much easier! Even though my mom usually goes shopping with me to help push the cart and carry the bags in, I would like to be able to walk around the store without so much pain.

I also found a really cool walking stick last weekend but decided against buying as it was a little pricey. If it had been about $30, I probably would have gotten it. My mom thought it was a little high for me, though. Oh well!

I think maybe I’ll get a couple of other canes too. Maybe some fancy ones. I figure, if you’ve gotta use one, you may as well go all out, right? Be a little crazy, a little goofy. Have some fun!

Canes are the new shoes. I’ll have one for every occasion!

Be blessed,

You know, I always imagined that by this time of my life (I’m turning 37 today), I would have things figured out. I would have the life I’d dreamed about since I was young. That I would be well-off, educated, happy, successful. But about a year ago, the reality hit me I was not on target to reach all of those goals by this point in my life.

Frankly, it was a B.I.G. let-down. I’m not going to lie and sugar-coat it. I was unhappy about it. I felt depressed. I felt ashamed. I felt like I’d made a mess of my aspirations. And I was hurting inside. I wanted so much more for myself!

But you know what?

I came to the realization a few months ago that those were my own self-imposed limitations! I had set myself up for the feelings of guilt and shame and powerlessness. I realized sometimes things go a different way than we intend and it’s ok. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world. There’s nothing wrong with that.

So, here’s the deal – I’ve given myself permission to move forward from here and to CREATE new dreams. New intentions. New expectations.

And knowing myself better today than I did all those years ago, I’d say I’m much better prepared to actually become the person I long to be.

There are changes coming. I feel like a I have a second wind, a new beginning. I feel a new strength welling up inside me and I am ready to let everything I have to offer come pouring out to share with the world.

Of course, you know what they say about an overnight success?

It’s years in the making . . .

And now, my years in the making are over.

It all begins today.

Be blessed,

Earlier this year, I wrote about my new ThemeWord for 2010 – CREATE. So far, I must say, I haven’t created much of anything. Mostly as a result of having a house full of sick kids for going on almost 2 weeks now.

And if that weren’t bad enough – when I took them to the doctor Thursday, the doctor thinks my 11 year old son (the autistic one) may be diabetic. Hopefully, we’ll get the necessary tests done this week to find out for sure.

Anyway – back to CREATE. My birthday is coming up this week. I’ll be 37. I usually don’t tell people my age but I’m doing so in the interest of the topic – Reinventing Annie.

Now, don’t worry – I wouldn’t call this a mid-life crisis or something. I just feel like this is my 2nd wind. This is my time.

The first half of my life has been about other people – my family, mostly. Earlier in the scheme of things, it was about school or work or whatever else I’ve done in the past. And now this part of my life is going to be about myself. Not in some conceited, “me first” kind of way – but more like, I am me and this is who I am. This is what I want to do with my life.

I won’t be letting my family define me anymore. I won’t be letting my personal beliefs define me anymore. Nor my parents. Or siblings. Or my work. Or my writing.

This is me on my terms.

And I am Reinventing Annie.

Stay tuned.

Be blessed,

PS – Would you keep my son in your thoughts? He already has so many things in his young life and diabetes might be a hard row to hoe for him if indeed he is diagnosed with it. Thanks! I appreciate it.

When you’re taking time over the next few days to establish the goals and accomplishments you want to complete in 2010, don’t play it safe. And by that I mean, whatever you THINK you want to achieve, multiply by about 3.

Yes, really.

Because I’ve found for myself that I often tend to stay within a “safe zone” when setting my goals. But you know what? Goals aren’t about being safe! They’re about pushing your boundaries. Exceeding the limits. Claiming victory.

Not about settling.

Annie’s 5 rules on how NOT to play it safe

1. Pick a word, any word. Well, at least pick one with some meaning, like COURAGE, EXPLORE, RELEASE.

For 2009, I chose ACTION and made it my single-minded goal, my ThemeWord. Like I mentioned earlier, for 2010 I’m choosing CREATE. And everything I do for the year will be as a result of that one thing. Every goal, every task on my list will be the question, “What can I CREATE from this?”

2. Take your word and keep it at the forefront of your mind all the time, day in and day out. Breathe it. Earn it. Live it. Let everything you do come from that one idea. Make it your mantra. Put it on your desktop wallpaper. Write it on your mousepad. Whatever. Just make sure it’s always confronting you.

3. Every time you make a list of things you want or things to do, multiply it by at least 3.

I’ve found that often I will stay within my comfort zone, my safe zone and put down something that’s probably a little more than I’ve done but still too easily reachable. For example, I may have a goal to ride my bike every day for at least 4 miles. Well, 4 miles is definitely doable for me and doesn’t really challenge or stretch me. Putting down 4 miles would be a cop-out.

Be honest with yourself – what can REALLY do? Multiply the number by at least 3. Can you ride 12 miles? Is it a little OUT of your safe zone? Well, put THAT down. Push the limit of your comfort level.

4. Get out of your preconceived box and go for the challenge! Don’t take no for an answer. Do your best in all things.

5. Be fully engaged and aware. No half-assed attempts. Either do it, or don’t. Nothing spells defeat to your inner self like doing something half way and feeling guilty. Like Yoda said, “Do or do not, there is no try.”

If you pick a ThemeWord for 2010, let me know what it is. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas on this concept. I’ll try to keep you posted periodically on how things are going with mine.

And with that, I’d like to just say have a Happy New Year! Be safe! Drive carefully. Be responsible and all that stuff.

Be blessed,

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking on what direction I see this blog going. I’ve written a variety of things here – from business to design to music and politics to real estate and even recipes – and I’ve never claimed it to be of any one “genre” per se or about really anything in particular. It’s simply things from my life, both personal and business related. I see no division between the two.

When I first began blogging way back in 2004 (wow! That’s been 5 YEARS!), someone told me I should have to 2 blogs and to separate my business life from my personal life. While I considered their advice, I decided ultimately not to follow it and I don’t regret that choice. For me, it was – and is – because I believe that there should be a human behind every business. I think it makes us better business managers if we are seen as a person and not simply as a business entity.

But there are many things I have not shared here. Yes, I have hinted at things. Like my 11 year old son has autism. That I survived an abusive relationship. And how I have a kidney disease. But I have never really opened up about these things.

So a few days ago, I began to really think about the fact that one of my missions on this earth is to help people. I know that one way I’ve been blessed to do that is by experiencing some not-so-cool things. I believe I am to be an advocate for people who need a shoulder, a hug, a friend. I believe I am to stand up for those who are pushed down.

And now . . . I have another vision to fulfill that mission . . .

I will be writing about and sharing my experiences about living with an autistic child and how we help him through his daily life. I will begin sharing about my past experiences living with an abusive man and how I risked my life to leave, to provide a better life for my family. I will begin sharing what it’s like to have a kidney disease that dictates many of my decisions as to what I cook, what my family eats and how I have managed to stay out of the hospital now for 9 years after having come within inches of death.

It won’t be easy, baring my heart and soul like this. It may make me a target for the malicious, sometimes heartless cowards who hide behind their computer screens and shout insults at those of whom they are jealous.

But if I can help even one person, one family, one friend, it will be worth it.

In addition to that, of course, I will continue to write in my current “style” – that won’t change. I will write about what strikes my fancy and not be worried about “telling” you something too personal. I hope you get as much out of my writing as I do so please let me know what you think. Ask questions, make comments, be open, be real, be yourself!

Her am I . . .

In the arena,

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am. ~ Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Annie Anderson is a freelance copywriter and graphic designer specializing in the small business and real estate markets. Her tagline “Making your business, my business” means that she’ll take the utmost care when creating words and images for your business – just as if it were her own.

Several months ago, I started feeling a little off. I was having “brain fog” – couldn’t think clearly – and I started avoiding reading things that were very long because I just couldn’t focus on them. I was also tired all the time and just not feeling well, in general. I thought perhaps it had to do with my allergies or something which really seemed to be flaring up a lot at the time.

I’d gone to the doctor a couple of times between January and April. During those visits, the nurse checked my blood pressure and found it to be high. Now, since I’ve always had low blood pressure – around 98/65 – we thought perhaps it was just due to some recent stress. But it continued to be high into April so the doctor finally decided we’d better start on some medications.

Well, things are getting much, much better since I’ve been taking the prescription. The brain fog is pretty much gone, I am not feeling dead tired all the time and I find I can focus long enough to resume reading full length books.

So . . . here’s the plea – please, please, please have your blood pressure checked regularly. A lot of stores, especially those with pharmacies, have BP machines and they are quite accurate most of the time. If you don’t have a store nearby with one, stop at your doctors office. Most of them will check your BP for you if you just walk in and ask, even without an appointment.

Now, I’m generally not the kind of person who takes medicines, especially not ones a doctor has to write a prescription for. I do not take them unless it’s absolutely necessary and I try to take natural or homeopathic remedies first, only resorting to prescription medications when nothing else has worked effectively. Often, I can manage to get well taking homeopathic sources first and rarely, rarely resort to anything prescribed by a doctor.

My doctor told me high blood pressure is dubbed “the silent killer” because people think they’re just not feeling well as a result of something else – like allergies. Most people who have high BP, have no idea. And it can go undetected for a long time. But it’s so easy to correct so don’t ignore it.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

In the arena,

Take care of yourself. You owe it to your family to do everything you can to remain healthy. Far too many people die young when they didn’t have to if only they had taken better care of themselves. Don’t be a statistic.

Annie Anderson is a freelance copywriter and graphic designer specializing in the small business and real estate markets. Her tagline “Making your business, my business” means that she’ll take the utmost care when creating words and images for your business – just as if it were her own.