Moving on

For the past week or so, I’ve been in a kind of funk. Not really depressed but more like pissed off at the world. Cranky and crabby. Ok well, truth be told, I’ll just come right out and say it – bitchy. I’ve been bitchy.

And I’ve been trying to figure out what is causing it. I’ve been blaming it on a myriad of personal trials I’ve been going through recently which I will not discuss here but suffice it to say that it’s all a bunch of government meddling and red tape. Stuff I’d really rather not deal with but don’t really have a choice in the matter.

Frankly, I’d love to just tell them all exactly where to stick it. And if you know me, you know it’s difficult for me to just step back and NOT speak my mind.

Anyway, as I was sitting here thinking about things last night, I realized that although I *am* very peeved at all that stuff, what’s really happening is that I’ve dealt with things on the surface but never really given myself the chance to feel everything that’s happened in the past few years, specifically the collapse of my marriage.

It’s been almost 18 months since he and I split and even though I took some time the first 4-5 months to reassess things and adjust to life as a single parent, I never really mourned the loss of the relationship. I never really let myself grieve over the betrayal I felt. Life was so busy at the time that when I did take some time out for myself, I just tried to focus on making sure the kids were ok and getting them through all the changes.

Bottom line is – I neglected me.

And now it’s time to change that. So, I’m taking some time this week to sort through stuff and figure out where I stand in all this. I feel like I’m getting to the end of the process and almost to where I can TRULY move on.

Until next time . . . keep blazin’!