You are here: Home / Archives for Self
Will the real Annie please stand up?
Aug 2, 2011

Will the real Annie please stand up?

By ·

Ok – I have a confession to make -

I’ve always been the good girl. You know, the one who always did what her parents told her to, never lied about where she was going or who she was hanging out with.

Well, 97% of the time, anyway. ;-)

That’s not to say I didn’t a have a certain amount of rebelliousness in me or that I was a perfect angel. Because I did and I sure as hell wasn’t! I mean, I smoked, listened to heavy metal and hard rock, hung out with “questionable” friends. Sometimes I got bad grades, skipped classes and told my teachers exactly what I thought.

But I tried hard not to disappoint my parents most of the time. It’s not that I was afraid of them or anything like most of my friends were of their own parents – it’s that I actually liked and respected them. For the most part, the person I aspire to be most like is mom, even still.

However, I think there comes a point in everyone’s life where they have to just be themselves. Even if it’s not the way their parents raised them. Even if it goes against everything they ever learned. Or goes against what their parents and family believes.

For example, my mom hates tattoos. She thinks if god wanted you to have them, you’d have been born with them. And I always just went along with her thoughts. You know, like a good daughter. But the truth is – I LOVE tattoos! And while I don’t have any, yet, I do plan to have a couple. And hopefully soon.

Because there comes a point in life when you have to do what you have to do to be YOU. The REAL you. The you, you are inside. The one that longs to be let out.

Even if it goes against the grain.

And I think I’ve kinda done that here on the blog, too. Sometimes I’ve gone off the beaten path but most of the time, I have kinda stayed right where it was expected of me to stay. Talked about the things people expected me to talk about. Said things the way people expected me to say them.

I’ve been careful with my language. Careful not to rock the boat too much. For fear of losing readers. For fear of being perceived as a “bad girl” or something.

Now, that’s not to say that everything I have written on this blog is false or that I didn’t mean what I’ve said. Because that’s not the case. It’s all true and I absolutely mean it.

But I’ve been wearing 2 hats, so to speak. The Annie who is a polite mom with a little attitude who doesn’t want to offend anyone and the Annie who is an outspoken loudmouth mom who swears now and then.

And trust me when I say the latter is Annie my children and friends see. ;-)

So, from this point forward, it’s the one EVERYONE is going to see. This is me and I’m not going to hide it any longer. I’m making peace with myself and letting the real me SHINE.

Because that is what it means to be a Badass Trailblazer. And if I can’t be me here, then what’s the point of writing this blog in the first place?

I love heavy metal and hard rock music, I hate dresses and skirts, I love tattoos and coffee and beer and wine and I prefer jeans and t-shirts. So there ya go! ;-)

And I hope you stick around because I love having you here!

Until next time . . . keep blazin’!


PS – Don’t worry – I no longer smoke. ;-) I gave that up about 13 years ago.

Filed Under: Self ·
Sometimes trailblazers get lost
Mar 18, 2011

Sometimes trailblazers get lost

By ·

But we tend to find our way back again.

Sometimes we get lost for a moment and other times it’s much longer than we even realize. One thing is true though – we come back stronger than before.

At least, that is my aim.

And while I may not be 100% sure exactly where I’m heading, many doors are opening for me.

So here’s my philosophy (courtesy of Max Keenan, a character on Fox’s crime drama Bones) -

“I don’t believe in encouraging all that self-esteem crap. You want something? You work for it.”

And that’s what I am aiming for over the next several months. Because I may not truly know where I’m heading, but I sure as hell do know who I am and what I want out of the next phase of my life.

Because I’m a trailblazer. :-)

And that’s that.

Filed Under: Life, Personal, Risk, Self ·
Welcome to 2011, baby!!
Jan 1, 2011

Welcome to 2011, baby!!

By ·

Get in, sit down, shut up and HOLD ON!!

I woke up this morning to bright, sunny skies and thick frost blanketing the countryside. Although I’m not much for cold weather, there is something refreshing about sun and frost in the early morning. That, and a nice hot cup of coffee equals awesomeness! ;-)

As I mentioned yesterday, my ThemeWord for the year 2011 is SHINE. (Rather fitting when the first day of the year is filled with SUN, don’t you think? I love it!) And today, I’m going to explain exactly what that means to me along with what my intentions for the year are and maybe a little reflection on 2010′s ThemeWord, which was CREATE.

This afternoon, I’m meeting with my business partner and we’re going to discuss some strategy for the next few weeks. Kinda lay out a bit of road map and then we’re gonna jump right in with both feet! Very exciting times! I’ll explain more about that in the upcoming days.

Right now, let’s talk about the BIG PLAN for the year: SHINE!

I have so many things I want to do this year! Some of these are carrying over from last year but there are also a whole handful of new intentions.

The biggest thing is health. And the biggest health thing is getting my back fixed – finally! In December, I went in to see my orthopedic spine doctor and we went over the results of the MRI I had last spring. He’s determined that since nothing else has worked – physical therapy, stretching exercises, heat & ice treatments, cortisone injections, etc – that the next best course of action is surgery.

Now, I don’t believe in surgery to cure every little thing – that’s why I’ve put it off for last 13 years. But it’s obvious after trying every other treatment possible that it’s the only option left. That, or just deal with it. Frankly, just dealing with it – which is what I did for over 10 years before I sought treatment again back in the spring of 2009 – is killing me. Since I can’t do a lot of stuff due to all the restrictions I have, I’ve gained weight and ended up with other health issues like high blood pressure and such and it is literally killing me.

So, I’ve thought about it, discussed it with family and a few acquaintances who’ve had the surgery, and I’m going to do it. The success rate is rather high – about 95% – and those people experience significantly decreased pain levels and other symptoms like leg numbness and muscle spasms almost completely go away. That’s what I’m intending for mine. And when that happens, I won’t have all these restrictions and that will mean increased mobility, the ability to actually go out and play with my kids in the yard, ride bikes, and all that stuff I just can’t do now.

I’m going in to see the ortho doc again on January 11th and I’ll find out then exactly when we will do the surgery. I can’t exactly say I’m *excited* about surgery, but I AM definitely excited about what’ll happen AFTER the surgery. I will finally get my life back! And the kids will have their mom back. ;-)

That’s a big Number One! And it’s going to impact every other thing for the year. I’m glad I’ll have the chance to take care of it first thing. The downside is the recovery time – 6 months! Then a long road of physical therapy. In the end, though, it will be SO worth it. That’s what makes it exciting!

And what follows will be even MORE exciting!

Other intentions on the agenda -

  • Take the Real Estate classes needed to get my broker’s license. This is part of what my biz partner and I are going to discuss today. I have to take 90 hours of classes in order to be eligible to take the state exam. I plan to do this during the month of January.
  • Pass the broker’s exam and get licensed. After finishing the 90 hours of classes, I’ll take the state exam and then get the actual license. At that point, I’ll sign on with a Real Estate brokerage office and then my biz partner and I will be set to really get rollin’!
  • Become fit and trim. I’ll be working on this even before surgery by continuing to do the things I started months ago like eating healthy, getting plenty of rest and drinking lots of water! I’ve also got the go-ahead from the ortho doc to do some light weight training before the surgery. I got myself a 10# kettlebell for Christmas and I already have a couple of 2# hand weights. A few days ago, I created an exercise plan I’ve begun following. I’ll continue this throughout the year, increasing the weights as needed.
  • Take a much needed vacation to Hawaii with my family. It’s been FAR TOO long since we really took a vacation. And my biz partner and I have decided we’re going to take my family to Hawaii this fall. My aunt and uncle live there so we’ll get to visit with them and relax and just have fun! Something I’m sure the kids really need after the past year.
  • Buy a recumbent bike. This is something I’ve been wanting for a long time! And it’s something I’ll be able to really DO after surgery. As part of my physical therapy and recovery, I can go ride my bike! The benefit of the recumbent style is that it puts less pressure on the back, shoulders and arms which I’ll need after the surgery to help promote healing. It’s going to be fun! I love bike riding!
  • Restore my VW bus. Again, another thing I’ve been wanting for a long time! As I recover from surgery, get in better shape and am able to do more, I’ll be able to twist and turn and bend and whatever I’ll need to do to work on the bus. It’s going to be awesome!

Of course, that’s all just the tip of the iceberg. I have many more things on my list, all under the premise of this year’s ThemeWord: SHINE! This *IS* my year to SHINE and I plan to do it B-I-G!

What about YOU? What’s on your plan for this year? Did you make any resolutions or set some intentions? Maybe choose a ThemeWord like I did? I’d love to hear about it! Drop me a comment below.

And from me to you, Here’s to a TOTALLY FREAKIN’ AWESOME 2011!

Until next time . . . keep blazin’!

 

Filed Under: Intentions, Personal Development, Self ·
Theme 2011
Dec 30, 2010

Theme 2011

By ·

It’s time again to choose a theme for the upcoming year and reflect on the previous year. For 2010, I had chosen CREATE as my theme word. The idea was to apply this word to each aspect of my life and CREATE something out of each situation. I’m happy to say, I think I really did a pretty good job considering what the first of the year brought – the end of my marriage.

I *did* CREATE  something out of that situation. ;-) And I’ve learned a lot.

However, I felt kinda stagnated at times. I think it’s because in previous years, I’d gotten so good at saying *NO*, I forgot sometimes to actually say *YES* instead.

So, this time for 2011, I’ve kinda struggled with coming up with a new word. I toyed with several of them – TRANSFORM, BUILD, PROSPER, ABUNDANCE – and each of them are fabulous words. But they just didn’t “fit” – if you know what I mean. I really wanted to like PROSPER and ABUNDANCE but they didn’t click with me the way CREATE did or the words I’ve used in the past. I knew the right word was still out there . . .

And then today as I was reading a couple of blog posts by other people on resolutions and theme words and all that good stuff, it hit me! Out of the blue, based on what someone else said about owning your power . . .

My theme word for 2011 is . . . . SHINE!

I think it encompasses everything I really want for 2011.

I am going to take everything I CREATEd in 2010 and make it SHINE!

And I think by doing that, I’ll encompass PROSPER and ABUNDANCE as well.

Perfect!

What are YOU going to choose for 2011?

 

 

Until next time . . . keep blazin’!


 

 

Filed Under: Intentions, Self, Trailblazing ·
Meh
Oct 7, 2010

Meh

By ·

I know it’s not Christmas yet, but . . . . bah humbug!

That’s just kinda how I feel. It’s an October thing. I used to love October – fresh fall air, cool crisp mornings, glowing evenings, things changing color, Halloween. But then, it all changed in the blink of an eye the day my 8 year old niece lost her battle with cancer. That was 1991, 2 days before Halloween.

And it’s just never been the same since.

So, anyway – that’s my big thing for today. October is just like that. It’s just wallowing. That’s a good word I’m going to borrow from my friend, El, who is having some wallowing time too. LOL See, I told you it’s an October thing.

I’ll be back in a day or two with a few highlights. Because even when things are going bad, there’s always at least ONE thing going well. I’ll focus on that as best I can.

But for today, here am I.

Until next time . . . keep blazin’! (I intend to even so.)

 

Filed Under: Personal, Self ·
Expanding my trailblazing
Sep 14, 2010

Expanding my trailblazing

By ·

Well, it’s time to ramp it up!

The book I won from Tyler at Advanced Riskology last week arrived yesterday and I began reading it last night. I really should have been going to sleep but I just HAD to start the book! It’s called “The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want and Change the World” by Chris Guillebeau and I must say – the first few chapters are quite thought provoking, as I’m sure the rest of the book will be.

But after I read those few chapters and decided I’d better go to sleep, my brain was a whirlwind of activity. It made for some interesting dreams. ;-) And I woke up this morning with all kinds of thoughts that made me realize I need to ramp it up. I’m pretty good at helping other people figure things out and get moving on the right path but I often fail at helping myself do the same. Although I usually have direction and purpose along with a good starting place, the middle of the road tends to be rather muddy and often frustrating.

So, this morning after I woke up with all these thoughts and while I was enjoying some quiet space between getting kids ready for school and out the door, I came across an article on Bicycle Magazine’s website about bike riding, ADHD and drugs that control ADHD like Ritalin. Now, let me preface this by saying I’ve always hated those drugs and I refused to put my autistic son on them when he was diagnosed with that disorder as a toddler. Anyway, this article made me fully realize and acknowledge something I’ve known in the back of my mind for a long time – I really miss bike riding!

As a kid, I was always riding my bike somewhere. I would ride all over the city after school. I even had a paper route throughout most of junior high and high school – my mom would load up me and my bike in the truck and drop me off with my papers in the town just north of where we lived to do my route. I loved it! Did I have ADHD as a kid? I have no idea but it’s certainly possible I had a mild form of it. I could sit still and do my homework and stuff if it was something I was really interested in but if it wasn’t? Well . . . let’s just say it was like pulling teeth. ;-)

All of this to say – it’s time to start riding again. Not only for the benefits of physical exercise but also because of the focus it allows me to have. I have a problem, though – because of my back, shoulder and arm injuries I can no longer ride a regular upright bike. But my doctor told me a few months back that if I was planning return to riding, I should be riding a recumbent bike. Now, I don’t know if you know much about recumbents, but they’re extremely expensive. You can buy a decent used car for what they cost!

Fall and winter aren’t necessarily the optimal seasons for riding in my neck of the woods, but I do have a bike trainer in the basement that I try to ride my regular bike on but it just kills my back and arm so I don’t do it as often I really would like. Once I get a recumbent, I’ll be able to bring it indoors when the sun turns to liquid form.

What I need to do is find a cheap used recumbent bike. I’ve actually been looking for one for a while but the cheap ones always go really fast. So, if you know of any resources for recumbent bikes, please let me know. I really would like to buy one in the next few weeks so I can get started before the weather turns too bad to go riding outdoors.

Riding is a part of my plan to live a life of trailblazing proportions. Because the whole premise of this concept for me isn’t just about the business end of it – it’s also about fulfilling personal dreams that have lain dormant for far too long.

Do you have dreams like that? If so, I hope you’ll join me in putting them into action.

Tell me about your dormant dreams in the comments and let’s go after them!

Until next time . . . keep blazin’!

Filed Under: Health & Fitness, Ideas, Personal Development, Self ·
Focus makes perfect
Aug 28, 2010

Focus makes perfect

By ·

You’ve likely heard the old saying “Practice makes perfect” dozens of times in your life but let me tell you a secret . . .

It’s not really practice that makes perfect. Oh, sure it helps a lot especially in the beginning and it’s kind of an underlying side benefit of what’s truly important – and that is focus.

Focus makes perfect.

You can practice and practice and practice something but if you’re not really focused on it, let’s face it – you might not get the results you want. Or maybe, you will, if your heart’s not in it in the first place! If you’re not truly interested in something, chances are, your practice alone won’t make you perfect. And if you’re not really interested, you’re likely not all that focused.

Do you see what I’m saying?

In order for practice to be perfect, you must be focused.

So, let’s change the saying to “focus makes perfect.”

And in order to change your life for the better, in order to blaze your own trail, you’ve got to have focus. I’ve spent some time recently developing an outline of the big picture. It’s now time to take the big picture and break it down into smaller blocks that I can focus on each week, each month to move me to the end result of what I want for my life.

This week, and for the next few months, my focus is going to be on 3 things:

  1. Learn more about writing. Although I think of myself as a fairly good writer, I know there’s always room for improvement. I’ve found a couple of blogs and courses that I will be following in order to help me achieve that.
  2. Add to my design skills. I will be focusing on learning new and better techniques for design. This will include newer standards like HTML5 and CSS3 among others.
  3. Develop my Self. With school starting very soon, I will have some uninterrupted time that will allow me to really focus on my Self – body, mind and spirit. Sometimes with kids home all day long during summer, it’s hard to etch out that time alone we need to nurture our own being.

Now, what are YOU going to focus on for the next block of time? Tell me in the comments!

Filed Under: Ideas, Life, Self · Tagged: ,
Stop SOPA